What does it mean to live life to the fullest? Because that’s why Jesus came, that we might have life — life to the full (Jn. 10:10). I’ll give you a hint: it doesn’t mean “eat, drink, and be merry.” But it also doesn’t mean sitting around being gloomy Christians. Our faith is a joyful faith, and this abundant life Jesus offers us is His own life, given to us so that we can be in complete and total union with Him. So, living life to the full means:
—Waking up each morning and having Jesus be the first thing on your mind.
—Talking to Him at the beginning of your day before doing anything else,
and continuing this dialogue throughout your daily work and responsibilities.
—Letting His way of being inform all your thoughts, words, and actions.
—Trying to stay close to Him at every moment, as much as humanly possible.
In other words, love for Him should be our main motivation for everything we do, throughout our entire existence.
It seems pretty clear that most of us (myself included) don’t have this level of love for the Lord yet, since it’s rare to see people living this way consistently — all for Him. Living like this every day is not only really difficult (especially in our society), but it’s also incredibly daunting.
The reason for that is because in order to truly love someone to this extent, you have to be willing to give everything, including the time and effort it takes to get in touch with your own brokenness and sin. And that’s not very pleasant. In fact, it’s probably the number one hang-up in the struggle for sanctity, as no one enjoys seeing personal areas of failure. Plus, with the responsibilities and pressures that come with living in the world, even if we manage to desire this earthly purgation, it’s hard to find the energy to examine the ugly parts of ourselves; it’s just “one more thing we have to do.” But He is worth it.
The lack of resolution to allow our wounds to be brought to light, along with those places in our hearts we have run away from for fear of confronting what we will find there, gets in the way of this “true life” God longs to give to us! For how can we truly love Him, if we don’t continually remain aware of our sinfulness and, therefore, his great forgiveness and mercy towards us? This reminds me of the beautiful story in scripture of the woman who comes to the Lord with such deep humility and poignant faith:
“Now when Jesus was in Bethany
…a woman came up to him with an alabaster jar of costly perfumed oil…
she stood … at his feet weeping and began to bathe his feet with her tears.
Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and anointed them
with the ointment. She broke the alabaster jar and poured it on his head …
… the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.”
Mt 26:6, Lk 7:37, Mk. 14:3, Jn. 12:3
The story continues as Jesus delivers a one-two punch to the judgmental onlookers — “her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Lk.7:47). It’s not that all the other people present weren’t sinful and in need of forgiveness, they just didn’t realize it, and therefore “loved little.” I don’t know about you, but the main reason I have trouble with deeply loving God in my day-to-day is because I am so forgetful of my many sins and failings and thus don’t have anything spurring me to a great love. But when I purposefully make time to examine my interior self, it is then that I remember just how often I have had to go to Him for forgiveness, and that His mercy is always there, just waiting for me to surrender my broken soul once again. And it is in those times of authentic heart-searching and reflection on His compassion that I am stirred to a deeper love for this God who is so kind and merciful.
If we really want to love God, to love Him with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strength, we cannot stay in the superficially safe and comfortable lives we tend to construct for ourselves. We have to make a consistent effort to get out of our comfort zone, brave the darkness of those places we either avoid or don’t have full knowledge of yet, and ask for the Holy Spirit to illuminate those things that “defile us from within” (Mk. 7:23).
The paradox is this: we can only be made whole when we allow ourselves to be shattered and when, letting go of all control, we accept in humility the sight of our broken selves lying in pieces at His feet. Then, trusting in His mercy, we will be set free from our self-made cages, and the fragrance of holiness will begin to fill our air.
This is life.
Beautiful, broken, messy, glorious life.
“I am broken at your feet, like an alabaster jar
Every piece of who I am laid before your majesty.
I will bow my life at your feet, at your feet,
My lips, so lost for words, will kiss your feet, kiss your feet.”Alabaster, by Rend Collective
