This past week we celebrated the memorial of St. Martha, a saint who is near and dear to my heart. Martha gets a bad rep because everyone knows her as the sister of Mary (the one who chose” the better part”). This always bothers me, because people seem to leave it at that, thinking it means that Martha didn’t also have a deep love for the Lord; that she was just the “busy one,” the one we have to try not to be; that it’s a “Martha” world and we all need to have “Mary” hearts. If you’re going off of this one instance, there is of course truth to that — but there is so much more to Martha and we can learn a lot more from her, other than how “not” to be.
Ok, fine. So Mary, in that one situation, with her beautiful, undivided heart, definitely chose the better part, sitting at the feet of Jesus, contemplating His words, His goodness, and His mercy, and just being close to Him. Martha, on the other hand, was stewing in the kitchen (pun intended!). But as one of my favorite priests recently pointed out, she didn’t stay there. She could have remained in that place of frustration, letting her resentment build and fester, without ever communicating any of it. I would venture to say that, unfortunately, this is normal for a lot of us, myself included. Instead, “Martha, burdened with much serving, came to [Jesus] and said, ‘Lord, do you not care…?’”(Lk. 10:40)
What audacity! This seems somewhat disrespectful and inappropriate, because at that time, it would have been unusual for a woman to speak to a visitor in such a manner, especially considering he was a man, a respected teacher, and a guest of honor in her home. Oh, and He was God. Even now it could seem pretty rude! But we don’t know if Martha was angry or just stressed, and we also don’t know whether she caused a commotion, or if she discreetly pulled Jesus aside to say her piece. And it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that she came to him. She had the courage and the willingness to step out in faith, trusting that the Lord would listen to her.
But how? Other than perhaps having a naturally forward character, how did Martha judge it fitting to speak to Jesus in this way, with such an apparent disregard of the rules of society, etiquette, and hospitality? Was she just being brash? Maybe. But I think her words, whether angry or stressed, loud or discreet, were spoken with the familiarity of love. Martha, feeling burdened, went to Jesus, confident that He would want to know the frustrations of her heart, because she knew He loved her. She knew she could say anything and He would still love her.
This story reminds me of an oft-used (and surprising wonderful) quote by Freud:
“How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved.”
And this, this is the side of Martha that, although overlooked, can be so beneficial for us to reflect upon. The Lord loves her, she is sure of this, and so is enabled to approach him with the boldness of love. We see the same boldness, this time tainted with grief, in the other dialogue between the two of them, found in John’s gospel:
“When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him.
Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother
would not have died. [But] even now I know that
whatever you ask of God, God will give you.”(11:20-22).
Again, she almost immediately springs into action and goes to Jesus (with no regard for how it might appear), communicates openly and directly her disappointment and distress that He has come too late, yet makes a huge act of faith by stating her trust in Him.
This boldness in drawing near to the Lord with openness and trust, displayed so beautifully by Martha, is seen throughout scripture, especially the Psalms, and in the lives of the saints. A perfect example is in our first reading today, where we hear Moses sharing his frustrations with God, “I cannot carry all this people by myself, for they are too heavy for me.” He even goes so far as to say, “If this is the way you will deal with me, then please do me the favor of killing me at once, so that I need no longer face this distress” (Nm. 11:14-15). Talk about bold!
We too, like Martha, like Moses, like so many other saints who were close to the Lord, ought to possess this same boldness of love! We should be earnestly praying for this, for the knowledge to truly understand just how much the Lord loves us, each of us — that He loves us to the point of always wanting to know what is on our hearts, even if He needs to gently correct us at times, as He did Martha. And we should also be asking for the courage to continually trust in His great love for us!
As a caveat, this doesn’t give us permission to feel entitled, as if we have the right to make all sorts of demands of the Lord. That is not the kind of boldness I’m talking about here. Rather, just like good communication in any other relationship, the way we approach God should ideally always be in a spirit of love and respect, but free of any fear or trepidation. And when presented with His children coming before Him with such confidence and trust in His goodness and care, God will always respond with love and compassion.
“Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now
come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.”
Eph. 3:12
